Monday, February 5, 2007


I'm regretting sending the "Inside a Panic Attack" post to J. I feel so vulnerable and raw knowing someone else is reading that about me. It's making me panicky today. I don't feel AS panicky about posting on my online group, but only because I don't see them in person. I think a lot of it is the shame factor about the pinning. I say that I'm not ready to give it up -- I try to convince myself it's not a big deal and that is okay -- but deep inside I know that the extent of shame I feel over it, the amount of hate I have for myself in doing it, means that I really know it is not a good thing.

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