Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My husband, the Protector & Standing Up for Myself

Over the weekend, one of my colleagues gave my home telephone number out to a client. My home number is unlisted precisely because I deal with people who are not always acting in their finest, sanest moments at the times I am dealing with them. I was mad that my number was disclosed and that this colleague didn't at least call me and have me call the client back. I sent out an email requesting that it not happen again, and received some less-than-positive responses. Ultimately I resolved the situation at a staff meeting today, and my colleagues understood (or at least accepted) my revealing my cell phone, but not my home phone number.
When DH heard a client calling our home number, he was livid. He doesn't often "put his foot down" about much, but when I first started this job, he was adamant that our home number remain unlisted. It's a safety thing with him. His quote when I told him about the comments made by colleagues was "You tell those damn men that that can deal with me if they have a problem with an unlisted number. I will NOT have crazy clients knowing where my wife and daughter live." He went on to say that frankly, he was irritated already at the number of after-hours and weekend calls I got already on my cell phone and that it was interfering with our family time.
At first, I got a bit irritated thinking to myself "Okay, I can handle this myself. Don't go getting involved in this. I need to handle it in a professional manner." But then I realized how GOOD it felt for him to say that. To stick up for me. To worry about me. It felt nice -- first that he was concerned about my and DD's safety; and second, that he was concerned about family time being infringed upon.
In the end I did handle it professionally and even garnered the support of my main "boss" who told me that he thought I was certainly assessible enough and he had personally talked with the two colleagues who had given me a hard time and told them he supported me. So that was nice too.
It was also nice to actually stand up for MYSELF. I stand up for and fight for clients all the time. But I usually back down, even in work situations, when it comes to personal things. So it was nice to take a stand for myself today.

1 comment:

Tina said...

I would certainly be pissed off if my co-workers gave out my home phone number! I am not in a higher-risk job than like you are, but when dealing with people outside my co-workers, I always give my cell phone. I can't believe they would be angry with you insisting your home number not be given out. Do they live in the stone age???

Good for you for standing up for yourself!!! My counselor told me that once you start doing that, it is a positive sign that you are on the right path to healing. I started doing that with my MIL a few weeks ago (as you already know) and I was surprised at 1) how liberated I felt by being able to speak my mind in a calm fashion and 2) how positively it was received. My FIL applauded me last night for having done that - much like your immediate boss did for you. May this be the turning point in your therapy and your journey!

And, good for your DH for standing up for you... Only goes to show how not much different you and he are, despite the trying times you have been through together.