Thursday, February 22, 2007

Sadly Normal

From - (main website here - )

I am sadly normal - 1 out of every 3 women and 1 out of every 5 men have been sexually abused by someone they trust by the time they are 18 years old.
I am sadly normal - We feel unimportant, discounted, worthless, shameful, powerless, unlovable.
I am sadly normal - We are forced to hide within ourselves by our abusers.
I am sadly normal - We are forced to keep our dirty little secrets. It's easy to do because we believe it was our fault.
I am sadly normal - We learn not to trust anyone, including ourselves, and the adults who were supposed to keep us protected.
I am sadly normal - We learn to survive by lying, pretending, manipulating, and stealing.
I am sadly normal - We learn to cope however we can. Drugs, alcohol and food are used to numb us and provide the comfort we have missed out on.
I am sadly normal - We learn to find our way around it, while we struggle to find ourselves.
I am sadly normal - We think and learn and are told it doesn't matter. We believe we don't matter either.
I am sadly normal - We think there are no effects of the abuse, while we can't figure out why we are the way we are, and why we do the things we do.
I am sadly normal - We become experts at fooling others, and ourselves.
I am sadly normal - We become exhausted from hiding the truth, thinking we are responsible for protecting those around us. Some even protect the abuser.
I am sadly normal - We reach adulthood, and deal with it for as long as we can, until we can't deal with it any longer.
I am sadly normal - We lose concentration and focus. We become more anxious and nervous. We feel like we are going insane.
I am sadly normal - Emotions fill us. Craziness, sadness, anger, rage, irritation, frustration. Loneliness.
I am sadly normal - SOMETIMES, we find a way to break our silence. We get help, and we learn to live, not just survive. Some never get to that point. Some just live with it. Some die with it. Some take their own lives because of it.
I am sadly normal - SOMETIMES, we seek counseling, and the healing is finally allowed to begin. Many don't discover the help that is available until we are in our 30's or 40's. Some never discover it.
Does this sound like you? You are sadly normal too.

I was going to highlight the things I could relate too, but sadly I can relate to all. So I just hit the really important ones. I'm sadly normal too. Sad anyway. Not so sure about the normal part, LOL. It is extremely sad and disheartening to think that 1 in 3 women have been abused. Last time I checked stats it was 1 in 4. It's sickening.

--------- I have to drive to a neighboring county for work today. I'm looking forward to the drive in the sunshine - with windows open, music really loud, and driving fast (well until I get to that part where the cops sit!). Wrong direction this time, but sometimes when I drive the other way, I get the urge to just keep on driving. I could drive a long, long way the other direction before I'd run out of road. I wonder sometimes if I could drive far enough to escape. Except, since it is myself I want to escape, I'm not so sure running away would help. I think about people who flee to other countries and assume new identities. I'd like to start over in a nice, warm, tropical climate. No debt, work just enough to have a little shack and some food. No worries. No past. Totally start over.

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