Monday, March 19, 2007

Lessons from a 3 year old

My DD and I have some of the most profound conversations during our car rides to daycare. That is when we say our morning prayers. And - if we are organized enough - discuss the devotional we read that morning. More often than not, we're praying in between bites of breakfast we are eating in the car as we have, once again, rushed out the door late!
This morning we were in pretty decent shape. So while DD was eating leftover St. Patty's Day cupcakes for breakfast (someone pass the "bad mommy" award this way!), we did our Bible reading. She's been studying dinosours in daycare and asking a lot of questions about the earth, sun and moon. So I thought we'd do some Genesis reading this week. It took longer than I thought because she was full of questions. But we did muddle through Chapter 1.
As we got in the car, we said our prayers. I always have to stifle a laugh when she prays, "help God and Jesus not to cough and get sick." She also thanked God for the sun and the moon, and the light and dark - but "God made it light too early - I was sleepyhead this morning - not want to get up." Hmm, wonder if that prayer works for grown ups too!!!
We talked about God creating man and woman - male and female and that put us on the subject of who were boys and girls. I think this must be a new topic at daycare because lately DD points people out and says "that's a boy" and "that's a girl." We'll just gloss over the time she LOUDLY proclaimed in Target - "Mommy - that's a boy/girl. I not tell. Sounds like boy. But long hair like girl" -- Oops.
In any event, when we pray, I always pray for DD's future husband. DD asks this morning, "Mommy, why I have a future husband?" Boy did that open a can of worms. I explained that she would grow up someday and she might want to marry. If she did, God would pick out a very special boy for her. Then they'd have a wedding. I reminded her of the pictures of Daddy's and I's wedding. She said "the ones before I was born." I said "yes" and told her that after her wedding, maybe she and her husband would have babies too. She fires back a series of questions - what if I want to marry a girl? Boys are yucky sometimes. What if I want to have a baby first? I want a baby sister - can I have one of those? How come husbands come before babies? Why husbands not have the babies (I personally would like to know that too)?
In between rapid fire prayers to God for answers, I was laughing. And extremely thankful that the drive to daycare is only but so long. Now I have all day to think up answers to her questions. Course she'll have new ones for me this evening. I find her inquisitive nature astonishing. I find the task of providing her with the correct answers and guiding her development overwhelming and an awesome task. I am grateful for the extraordinary women in my life to whom I can turn to for answers and guidance.
I don't remember conversations like this with my mother. I do remember the "where do babies come from" book - complete with illustrations. It was scientific. No mention of the whys or morality in it all. I do remember the "what's happening to my body" book - from school. Again scientific. I remember playing wedding will my barbies - all about the ceremony. Nothing about he morality or meaning of it all. I intend my DD to know the details. I want her to dream and fantasize about her wedding day - not so much about the colors and dresses, but about the meaning of it all too........sniff......but not too soon. I'm not ready for her to grow up quite yet. I still have a lot to learn from my little theologian 3 year old.

3 comments:

Tina said...

WOW!! Quite the conversationist you got there!! I am lucky I can drag out what Chris did at school! LOL!

Good luck answering her questions... I am sure, however, that giving her the morality and meaning of marriage and having children will be a great lesson for her. She has one great mommy....even if she had a cupcake for breakfast! A treat is a treat, right? ;)

Anonymous said...

you might want to also leave open the possibility that she might not marry at all, or that she might not marry a man. i never dreamed or fantasized about my wedding day, although my mother did, i'm sure, and when i did get married, it was entirely her wedding, no hint of me to be found anywhere...and when i got divorced becasue i finally came out to myself that i was a lesbian, i was a much happier person.

i'm sure that my parents didn't want a gay kid, but they got one.

Enola said...

Anonymous,

I only want my daughter to marry if that is God's will for her. Ultimately that's what I want her to base all her decisions upon - what God (and not me) wants for her.

I do leave open the possibility that my DD might make choices that I don't particularly like. She's still my daughter, and while I might try to change her mind (a mom's perogative LOL) I certainly will love her no matter what.

I am glad to hear that you are a happier person now and I hope you have found acceptance and love in your relationship with your parents.

Ultimately I intend to teach my daughter the morals and values that I believe. The choice of what to do with them is ultimately up to her. I hope and pray that she will make her own choices someday - ones she believes in for herself - and not just do what others (including me) pressure her to do. No matter what thought, she's my daughter and I will love her.

Thanks for posting. Many future happy wishes to you.