Monday, April 23, 2007

Changes - Inside and Out

Blog changes - I am going to try really hard to start labelling my posts - categorizing them. So that those of you who want to sort that way will have that ability. I know I've found it helpful in reading others blogs. It may take me awhile to figure out how to do all that.

Outer changes - I stepped on the scale today. Ouch. What a way to start a Monday morning. My weight has always been an up and down battle. My sister is the skinny, pretty one. I'm the brainy one. Always been that way.

I battled weight problems starting in 6th grade. Luckily (sarcasm here) food was scarce at our house growing up (junk food was for adults only and us kids were not allowed to touch it) and I was very active (that 1.5 mile walk to and from work every day was a good thing). Plus when you are saving money to pay your own expenses (like shaving cream) and for a car and college, you don't spend money on eating at work. So that helped keep my weight manageable. Anyway, I got to college and start putting on some weight. But I also started exercising. So it evened out some. I even had a growth spurt in college - my last one. I stayed relatively thin until law school. There was no time to work out then. But I also had no time to cook and had to share a kitchenette with 5 girls. So rice and broccoli was a staple of mine. When I got married, I was very much underweight (although I never would have admitted it then).

Last year of law school I got married. I cooked every night. I stopped working out. And the pounds came and came. I graduated 20 pounds heavier. Then I started work. Long hours, no time to work out, and meals on the fly. The pounds came on again. When I was 60 lbs above my ideal (at that time) weight, I started dieting. And soon joined weight watchers. I lost all the weight in May 2004. Now when you join WW, they ask your height and age and sex. Then they give you a range of where you should be pound-wise. Of course I wanted to be at the lowest number. I made it. Took a ton of pictures of me at the beach that summer. Came home and discovered I was pregnant. Off the weight watchers I went. And on came the pounds. FAR MORE than I needed to or should have gained. Let's just say when I had gained over 65 lbs, I stopped looking at the scale -- hell it wasn't like I could see it at that point anyway.

After delivery, I worked hard to lose the weight. But in doing my daughter's scrapbook I ran across those beach pictures and realized I had been a bit too skinny there. So I upped my goal weight 5 lbs. Got there within a year. But I also started anti-depressants for post-partum blues. And winter came which is always a bad time for me. So back on came the pounds. About 30 that time.

I went to the doctor and he commented about my weight fluctuation. So I asked him what an ideal weight range would be. At that time I was in the "new" (read - older) weight division, so I was "allowed" to be heavier. We settled on a healthy weight number. I set out to make it. And I did. After that I allowed myself to fluctuate up or down about 3 pounds or so. I ate fairly healthy with occasional splurges, but also exercised. I also went on and off the medications, some of which added to the weight gain, some of which helped it go the other way.

Well, with everything that has gone on, I've let my weight get out of hand again. I go for a day or two eating minimally. Then I binge and eat everything in sight. I stopped drinking diet and now drink regular sodas. I've stopped doing black coffee with sugar free sweetener and am drinking the mocha lattes and caramel machiattos. I also suspect my current medications are contributing, somewhat, to a few of the extra pounds.

So, since none of my clothes fit, and because I am 21.4 (to be exact) over my goal weight, it is back to eating healthy and exercising. Because goodness knows I don't need to add any additional health concerns to my plate. And, more importantly (LOL) I don't have the money to buy an entirely new wardrobe in a bigger size.

1 comment:

Tina said...

I have always hovered around a size 12 - which is fine by me. But, when I see size 14's getting tight, then it's time to diet!

I have never been the exercise type AT ALL! But, I have gone over a year with walking 2 miles about 3-5 times per week, and this is the best STEADY weight I have been ever in my life! So, maybe just adding a nice, quiet walk to a few of your days during the week would help? It doesn't feel like exercise, and it is helped with my mood a lot!