If you enter my bathroom and look on my shelf (ignore the mess), you'll find a weekly pill sorter. Open it up and you'll see all sorts of pretty colored pills. There are the pink multi-vitamins, white lexapro, white zyrtec, cream herbal supplement, green trileptal, and brown vitamin. There are more than one of some colors. With my jaw stuff, there have been additional pills, like my yellow penicillin and white pain pills. Then also, the blue and white liquids I gargle with. During certain times of the month, you throw in some dark red iron pills and and auburn ibuprofen. then there are the (not so) occasional pink xanax and tan melatonin. All in all, you have a pill colored rainbow.
I have lots of pills for chilling out. Need to chill? Take a chill pill - literally, in my case. Today, it seemed like I was popping pills all the time. Perhaps because I was. Woke up and took my usual 4. Then got cramps so added in 3-4 ibuprofen. Then got a bit anxious about 7 pm so add in a green one. Come home and finish with my nightly ones. Few more ibuprofen. And because I can't sleep without a little help, how about another one.
For someone who used to be so against taking any kind of medicine.....well, I'm sure taking an awful lot of it. Part of me likes being able to just take a pill to solve my sleep, pain, anxiety. Part of me hates being dependent on meds. Part of me likes to see all the pretty bottles lined up in a row and just chug them all at once. Part of me wants to knock all those bottles over and throw every pill away.
Between the extremes is coping. Taking what I need when I need it. Trying to do what I can, when I can, to limit relying on the pills entirely. But acceping their help when necessary. I don't usually do so well with coping. But I'm trying.