Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What do you Mean I Can't Control the Weather?

I leave for vacation on Friday. A whole week at the beach. We will leave on Friday to drop the dog at the "house of luxury," otherwise known as my in-law's basement, where she will be coddled, fed table scraps, and allowed to run through the fields all day. On Saturday we will leave for the beach. My sister, her husband and their three kids will be there through Wednesday. We're staying through Saturday.

My sister and I have been talking nearly every night. Comparing packing lists. Trying not to both bring some items that we only need 1 of. Making plans for activities and just sharing our excitement and readiness to go. Sister commented that the extended forecast called for temps in the mid-high 80s with scattered showers (typical beach forecast) but then remarked that the "chance of rain was 60%). I told Husband who began to fret. I started with the assurances.

Me - Better to be stuck at the beach in the rain than at work in the rain.
Him - I'd rather be home in the rain and at the beach when it is sunny.
Me - One day of rain would be okay. We can do sightseeing.
Him - I hope it's not cloudy and overcast the whole time.

Me - I'm going to check the condo details again to see what we need to take.
Him - I hope it's clean. I hope it looks like the pictures. We better not have any problems with it.
Me - I'll pick up some air filters when we are there, since pets were allowed.
Him - forgot about the pets being allowed. There better not be hair all over the place.
Me - we can vacuum
Him - I'm not cleaning on my vacation.

Me - I'll print off directions.
Him - make sure you verify where we pick up the key. I don't want to be driving all over looking for it.

Me - anything else we need to pick up at the store? I'd like a rectangle shape raft.
Him - you don't want that. You want a round one. You can relax on it just as well and better to surf the waves.
Me - I just want one to relax and sunbathe on - out past the waves.
Him - get a round one. Then you can use it for both.

Me - I'll cut some coupons to take for our food shopping trip there. And check out some restaurants.
Him - that one we tried last year was good. The other one wasn't though. Let's not buy too much food down there. We had too much left over to throw out last year. I hate that.

Trigger, Trigger, Trigger, Trigger, Trigger, Trigger.

Flashback to being in backseat assuring Mom and Dad that everything would be fine, we'd eat all the food, we'd have fun no matter what we did, the clouds weren't ruining our day. Please be happy. Please don't get depressed or moody. Let's just have one good day.

I can't control this vacation. I can't control the weather. I did the best I could picking out the condo - Husband looked and approved it too. We both decided to take this one despite the pets allowance. Last year, I had the directions to the realty office, we just both missed seeing it as we drove past the office several times. Overall we had a great vacation last time. Why does Husband insist on recounting all the negatives? Why is he such a "control" freak here and why do I turn into Miss People Pleaser. Why do I let him do this to me? Why do I let his moodiness, anxiety, fretfullness ruin my vacation? Why do I spend the entire week worrying about what mood he will wake in and if he is having a good time? UGH. I can't control the weather and I need to give up trying. I am determined to relax and enjoy this trip FOR ME.


Beauty said...

Yes, enjoy your vacation for YOU. There are obviously many things triggering you, with hubby being such an Eeyore, but you can control only your response to his negativity. Easier said than done, of course. Just keep in mind that you're not responsible for how much enjoyment he gets out of this vacation, he's the only one who can control that.

Sounds to me like you've covered all the bases. Some little things are bound to go wrong, or get overlooked. Whoa, you're human after all!

I really do wish you a great time at the beach with your fam and your sister and her family. Enjoy!

austin said...

why do I turn into Miss People Pleaser.

I do the same type of thing It's an old role I'm stuck in but I'm actively looking for new roles. It is apparent to me that you are looking for your own, true role in life as well.

It is so hard to get out of the role our family put is in as children. I mean, childhood is a foundation. We build from it. If the foundation is made with abuse and dysfunction then it is so difficult to change the building as it gets older. but I plan to put in new windows and change my views, shake the foundation and build a structure I can comfortably live in.