Friday, August 10, 2007

A Lap - Part Two

Last night I was tucking my daughter into bed. I had gotten her night light plugged in, fan on, music on, covers all arranged and laid out two storybooks and her Bible devotional. I sat down sideways on her bed, with a pillow behind me, while I waited for her to gather all her stuffed animals and dolls and arrange them "just so." I put her Dora pillow next to me and patted it for her to sit down next to me while I read to her. She shook her head and said "No. I want to sit in your lap." So I moved the books off my lap and pulled her to me. She wiggled around and got comfy and grabbed her blanket. Leaned back and said "I like snuggles. It's fun." We read our Bible devotional, talked about our day and said our prayers. I tucked her head under my chin and breathed in that special scent of her clean, grape scented hair and relished the moment.

We then read "I Love you Always" which is a book where various baby animals ask their mommies and daddies, "Why am I special?" The mommies and daddies respond with something unique about their baby and end with "and you are special and we will love you forever and always." When I finished reading, I tucked her in, kissed her and said "I love you always and forever." She smiled and said "Me too."

I love moments like that. I store them up and treasure them in my heart. I hope my daughter will always find my lap "fun" and enjoy "snuggles." I know I always will.

A few weeks ago I was asked by T to think of a second safe place. Drawing a blank here. I like my "lying on a raft, drifting in the water" feeling. I've thought about the time on vacation when I climbed up in the lifeguard stand and watched the sunrise. But that just wasn't quite working for me. Last night, something flashed in my head when I was reading to my daughter. Couldn't quite put it together though. Then this morning I remembered that I had written about a mother's lap awhile back on here. Found my post from February 2007 (Lap - part one). I'm wondering if my second safe place has to be an actual place. Because this lap thing is sounding appealing to me. I'm wondering if it will work?


Lynn said...

I think the lap sounds nice, Enola. You could try it as a second safe place and see if it works. I hope you will let us know how it goes.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we dotn often say this but we often find ourselves with our head on our T lap, littles usually are in when us adults come back, but soemtiems just secretly when we need a safe place we imagine ourselves with our head in her lap instead of the littles. We say this in the hope you know its not a silly thing tosay.

keepers said...

head on a lap is a very comforting position, seems to soothe more than others, and perhaps it is something we never should outgrow the need for, whether adults or littles!

peace and blessings


~Sister in Survival~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Sister in Survival~ said...

I wish I was better with this in Hannah's life. My mom never allowed me to attach to her and feel safe...I have fought to do better, but I haven't.

Trying to be well and find who I was before the world crashed in around me has made me not be her momma, and I hate me for it.

I haven't told David about this part. I am too ashamed of myself!

Marj aka Thriver said...

What a sweet bed-time ritual! I like the lap idea, too. Since I don't have a mother, I visualize an angel and I rock and am comforted by her in a swing on my safe-place sun porch.