Tuesday, February 12, 2008

What is Love Anyway? - Valentine's series part I

What is Love anyway?

The Beatles say, “All you need is love, love; Love is all you need.” However, that doesn’t explain what love IS.

Is it a physical reaction? Tina Turner says it is – “It’s physical – only logical. You must try to ignore that it means more than that. What’s love got to do, got to do with it?”

Is Love used to justify bad things? U2 wants to know “what more in the name of love?” and discusses violence in the name of love?

My background and childhood certainly didn't equip me to know what love is. But I learned a lot about what love is NOT ....

* Love isn't supposed to wake you up with flashing blue strobe lights in your window because the cops are there again. Love isn't supposed to show up as red marks and ashes on your mother's face.

* Love IS supposed to involve flowers - but not like this -

* Loving "hickies" aren't supposed to look like this. Unlike Def Leppard's song, love is not supposed to bite or bleed.

* Love isn't supposed to hurt innocent people (or animals). Love isn't supposed to make you think you deserve to be treated like this.

* Love is supposed to instill a respect and love your yourself in you - not take it away. It isn't supposed to be shameful.

* Love isn't supposed to be learned physically before you are emotionally ready. Love is not taking advantage of a child. Love is not making a child think it is their fault. Love is not keeping silent in the face of knowledge that someone is abusing your child.

* Love is not awakening a child's body to physical reactions they are not developmentally ready to feel. Love is not telling a child it is their fault. Love is not blaming a child for your response. Love is not using a child to fullfill your own twisted sexual desires.

I learned a lot about what love is not. The word pictures above here are ones I found on the internet, but I have my own -

The love I learned caused me to hide -

It caused me to go from this happy smiling family....

to this

Love isn't supposed to hurt so bad that you want to cut it out.

If love looks like this in your life, please seek help.

(part II - here - will focus on how I learned what love really looks like)


Anne said...

I'm so sorry.

I'm glad you're on the road to recovery, and have found out what love is.

keepers said...

Dear enola

Thank you for sharing and perhaps showing someone who hasn't quite got it yet that what they are experiencing or know of is not their fault and not real love.

peace and blessings


Patches said...

Wow, Can so relate to this.


jumpinginpuddles said...

we have only just learnt what we called love in our marraige was not we know the results of believing we deserved this crap and thank god we are getting out

Marj aka Thriver said...

Thank you for having the courage to let me include this for the Feb. edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. It is a powerful message.

You deserve all the healthy love in the world! Safe hugs (((((Enola)))))

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

In many ways I find it easier to define what love isn't than what love is. Those few words about love that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 are the best positive description I know.

Now I shall move on to your part 2.