Thursday, October 2, 2008

Checking in - Post-baby Recovery

Thought I'd check in. Things are going okay. We came home from the hospital last Friday. My MIL, FIL and BIL had been here caring for my daughter. MIL had left food and cleaned some. All the sheets were washed and changed and laundry done.
Sister came up late Friday night with my middle niece. She got up Saturday and took the girls to McDonalds and grocery shopping. Then she came home and cleaned the bathrooms and the entire house. DH took the girls to a festival and Sister held the baby for awhile while I napped. The next day Sister took the girls to a park and DH and I napped. Napping is good!
MIL came Tuesday night. Monday DH stayed home but he went back to work Tuesday. We are trying to work out a balance. He works so he needs more sleep at night. But I need some help and support at night too. Monday night he woke up when Baby woke. Daughter also woke and came into the room. She crawled into bed and I told DH to go take her back to her room. He walked into her room and fell asleep in her bed. Leaving me with Daughter and Baby. I was very irritated. We talked the next day about him needing to take care of Daughter when I'm busy with Baby.
Two nights ago Baby slept GREAT. I got a 2 1/2 hour stretch and then a 3 hour stretch and then a 2 hour nap. Last night was payback - I think we slept about 1 hour. DH escaped to couch - he says his neck hurt from holding Baby so much earlier. Baby slept on me a bit. He sleeps great if he is ON you. I'm getting a co-sleeper positioner for our bed this Saturday.
The Church has a list of people bringing us food every night for the next 1 1/2 weeks. It's lovely! And I'm getting lots of new foods to try.
DH and I have had lots of discussions about cutting back our activities for a few months. I thought we had sorted things out for the most part, although I fully expected that hunting would re-surface later. DH signed up to teach Sunday school, even though I asked him to hold off until January. He assured me that he had made arrangements to have others take over when baby arrived. I asked him to wait to start, but he didn't agree with that. Last Sunday none of us went to Church. Yesterday a church member dropped off food and DH said "see you Sunday." I looked at him funny and asked him later. DH says he enjoys teaching. I explained that there were lots of things I enjoyed that I've given up over the past 9 months and still more I'll give up while nursing. DH asked how long he was "expected" to give things up and I told him that there is a reason doctors have new moms limit activities for 6 weeks. DH was appalled at being asked to limit himself for 6 weeks. I told him I'd like to see us master getting all of us up and to church before he started teaching again. That was we can work on getting ready and out the door before worrying about being late. He agreed to get help for a "bit" but thinks it's just stupid to go to church and not teach -- what would people think? I predict the next issue will be exercise or hunting. I even said as much to DH. He didn't disagree - he wants to get back to the gym and hunting soon. The exercise I can see - if he can figure out how to do it and transport Daughter to/from daycare on time. I planned a hunting trip for him for Tgiv and he may just have to be satisfied with that. Well, not satisfied, but deal with it!
I'm enjoying nursing again, although it has it's challenges. I love the snuggle time and the feeling of empowerment - hey look at me and what I can do !! I like being able to soothe him like no one else can.
I was concerned about having a boy and dealing with "boy issues" but it's not been a problem at all. I've been "christened" as a mother of a boy - he's peed on me twice now. I've learned to cover things quick! DH hasn't learned yet - he got wet last night. We both laughed and praised Baby for his aim - right over his head and onto the floor. LOL
So far I'm having some small bouts of anxiety and depression. I'm on the look out and recognizing it. Trying to take a break at those times. Cry when I need too. Open up to DH and tell him what I need him to do. And keep up on sleep as best I can.
Now the little bugger who was up ALL NIGHT is still asleep on MIL's lap after 4 hours. I'm going to wake him up to nurse and snuggle. I think he has his nights and days mixed up - he wants to sleep all day and party at night!
The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is up here. Check it out.


Anonymous said...

Good to hear from you -- may God continue to provide for you all and help you and DH in all the negotiating.

shannon said...

Oh my goodness... I remember those days - the sleep deprivation is so tough on moms.

I also suffered with anxiety and depression (long before my pregnancy) and I went off of all my medication while pregnant. It wasn't easy, but it became almost intolerable right after my son was born. I remember entire mornings where I just couldn't stop crying. You're not alone.

Try to be easy on yourself. You need time to heal and to rest. Enjoy your precious miracle! How lucky he is to have you as a mom!

cerebralmum said...

Congratulations, Enola. Such lovely news. The "christening" is funny, isn't it? I was so pleased when my Mum (the mother 2 girls) first changed his nappy and his aim was true. Because she hadn't heeded my warnings. :)

You sound very happy and it makes me smile. And to your little boy - Welcome to the world.

lawyerchik said...

Sounds like things are settling in - I remember the days of trying to diaper boys BEFORE they had to go again! Both of my brothers had the same ... aim: right on whoever had diaper duty! :)

Congratulations, again, Enola!! I'm so happy for you!!

Strong and determined said...

The lack of sleep is SO hard on new moms, and I know most dads cannot relate. They are asleep!

((Hugs)) Keep taking those naps, and taking things one day, or one hour at a time.

Lynn said...

I'm so glad you have company and help, Enola. It can be so important sometimes.

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