Saturday, October 25, 2008

Once Upon a time - story of my dad - Part 3

Rita continued to alternate between her "mom" persona and her "friend" persona. One time I came home with a guy I had dated. Rita sat down in the kitchen and started talking, in sexually explicit terms, about things she and my dad did. I was mortified. Other times she chastised me for things I wore, saying they were too low cut.
One weekend I arrived back at my mother's house. Sister was visiting that weekend. Sister was very upset. Rita had gone through Sister's belongings and discovered birth control pills. Rita was outraged and insisting Sister and her boyfriend break up. Rita called and cursed out my mother too. I drove Sister home and for some reason Mom followed.
When we got there, Sister went upstairs. I asked to speak to Dad and we went downstairs. I told Dad that I didn't appreciate Rita's sex discussions or the way she spoke to us. Dad listened and said he'd take care of things and talk with Rita. It was a good conversation. I felt "grown up" for the way I handled the discussion. It is the one and only time I remember confronting my father about something and having a civilized, good conversation.
As we walked upstairs, we heard yelling. We ran upstairs. Sister and Rita were yelling. I'm not sure what happened, but Sister said she was leaving. Rita started throwing Sister's belongings off the balcony window. Then Dad got involved. The next thing I remember Dad is coming at me and I know he is going to hit me. I stiffened my back and for the first time ever stood up to him. I told him, "go ahead, but make it count, because you'll pay." He stopped short and did nothing.
The police were called. Rita was convinced that the years old restraining order Dad and Mom had against each other transferred to her place, and the fact that Mom was at the end of the driveway meant a violation of that Order. Sister and I took what we could and left. I drove home with Toilet who was very father-like (one of the few good memories I have of him) and Sister with Mom.
After that I got Sister enrolled in school and took her shopping for all the items she needed. All of Sister's belongings mysteriously "disappeared" and Rita claimed that Sister and her daughter shared so many things that it got comingled. A few weeks later we learned that Dad had met with a serious accident. While cutting down a tree, he fell out. After that, we didn't hear from Dad again. I firmly believe that "accident" was a warning to him about conversing with Sister and I.
Years passed. Sister and I kept up with Dad's side of the family, but not with Dad. I had to communicate with him some about financial stuff. It was always a bad experience. One time I called collect. When the operator asked to whom I wished to speak I gave Dad's full name. Rita got on the phone and blasted me for speaking disrespectfully by not calling him Dad.
I heard rumors that Dad adopted Rita's four children. I know Rita's sister and brother-in-law were victims of a murder-suicide (not the same family I had met). Dad and Rita took in their children - there were 2 or 3 I think. These children had mental issues and one ended up in the criminal system. Later Dad and Rita abandoned them with Social Services.
Dad and Rita briefly broke up and Dad reappeared in Sister and I's life. I've written about that before and won't repeat it here.
(to be continued).....


Anonymous said...

I stopped drinking in 1985... I may get a bottle before I read your next installment. lol

Lynntaketwo said...


16 blessings'mom said...

Well, you have been through more than your share. I truly hope it helps to write about it. I always thought it was kind of wierd to send "hugs", but Enola: hugs to you....

Angel said...

Ugh. I wonder what kind of "accident" convinced him to get back with her. Or maybe she was the one who was tired of him.

Rising Rainbow said...

Geez, enola, it sounds like Rita could have been my mother. I guess there really are black widow spiders out there.

Just know you're not alone in the family craziness. There are definitely others of us out there.