Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Evidence of Love



When I found out Baby was going to the hospital, I called my sister. She immediately said, "I think I can get Husband here in an hour and leave then. I can be there in 9 hours. I just need to line someone up to watch the kids." She would have done it too, except I told her we would manage. She called me two times a day after that and kept up by email too. She called before she went to work and during her work breaks. She made repeated offers to drive the 500 miles and come help. Even though she is out of vacation days and would have had to hire a babysitter.

My in-laws were also called. My mother-in-law does not get paid vacation days. She already took four days off to come up and help after Baby's birth. Father-in-law is self-employed. So if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. Brother-in-law is autistic and if mother-in-law isn't in town, then father-in-law has to end his work early to be home to care for BIL. Despite all this, FIL was willing to leave work and drive MIL (she doesn't like to drive this far by herself) here to help with Daughter, sit with me in the hospital or do anything else we need. She even called today to see if we needed help after Friend left or if we just needed a break or help with housework. MIL specifically called my Husband to let him know that she and FIL had talked and wanted us to know that they had money in an account and that we were not to take a loan to pay the hospital bill - they would pay it and we could repay them if we were able.

Our Friend who just came to visit purchased a plane ticket to come visit. She helps out with a business she and her husband have. So her leaving meant he had to manage that by himself. Not only did she visit and engage me in adult conversation, she willingly pitched in and helped -- laundry, cooking, playing with my Daughter, who at 4 years old can be a trial sometime, and holding Baby. She has this wonderful ability to hold Baby, even when he is crying, and not get flustered -- unlike many others who are quick to hand him right back. She just gets up and walks him around or rocks him. It was so nice to be able to enjoy a shower or leave the room and know that she was going to be okay if he started crying. I should have had her give my Husband lessons!
Having gone through most of life without a father or a supportive mother, it sure is nice to have others who care and aren't afraid to demonstrate their caring. I'm glad that I have developed such a support network. It's still hard for me not to retreat into myself, be alone and do it all myself. But I'm learning.

7 comments:

DM said...

Interdependent. I honestly believe that is the healthiest way to live and how we were created to live. (rather than dependent, or independent) It is an intentional decision, it doesn't happen automatically, but it sounds like you are well on your way. Thanks for the updates..BTW...Your husband sounds alot like me w/ fussy babies. I think we're afraid we're doing something wrong and so we panic ;-)

Beautiful Dreamer said...

How wonderful for you to have so many supportive people rallying around you during this stressful time!

Angel said...

That is such an awesome support system you have! What a wonderful gift to have in this time of trial for you.

Kahless said...

wow. I am really pleased you do have that love around you.

(oh and funnily the word verification for this comment is "mates")

prochaskas said...

Wonderful.

Lynntaketwo said...

Wow. That's a lot of evidence, Counselor. I'm glad to see it being admitted.

shannon said...

Sometimes it's in daunting times like this that it seems that we grow the most? I still find it painful and almost impossible to lean on people... you're an inspiration to me. So happy to hear that you have this helpful rally around you!