Monday, December 15, 2008

Back to Life, Back to Reality

As this blog entry posts, my alarm clock is going off. I'm probably groaning. It will certainly be tough getting up so early with a baby who wakes 3-4 times a night. I'll miss that 6:30 - 8:30 stretch of sleep I've become accustomed too.

I have bottles made and labeled. On Friday I took diapers, wipes, a mobile, a blanket, pacifiers and pictures to daycare for Baby. I've laid out my pump, purse (sure will feel weird to carry a purse instead of a diaper bag), and clothes for all. Daughter's shoes and clothes are laid out. My clothes are picked out. Baby's clothes are laid out too. The camera is ready so I can take pictures of Baby's first day.

Husband and I will work together to get the kids ready. I will drive them to daycare where I will leave Baby for the first time. WAHHHHH. I know I'll cry. Probably not until I get in the car to drive away, but I'll cry.

I've included some gingerbread flavored coffee creamer. My legal assistant and I plan to lounge in my office over coffee and go through my case list, make a to do list and coordinate schedules. I plan to work a few hours - enough that Baby gets one bottle at daycare. Tuesday I'll work half-day and Wednesday it's back to full day.

I'm worried they won't know how to comfort him when he cries. That they won't get to him quick enough. That they won't realize that he hates wet diapers and even though you just changed him 5 minutes ago, he could still be wet and upset. That he likes to fall asleep upright with his back patted.

And now it is off to bed for me. To snuggle with a blue stuffed blanket. I'm sleeping with this Lovey under my shirt tonight. Tomorrow it should be full of my scent and can cuddle with Baby in his crib at daycare.

I know he'll survive....but will I?
ETA - I am at work. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara. On my desk is a small picture of Daughter at 3 months - the same age Baby is now. Boy do they look alike. She made it through daycare just fine and I know he will. When I left, he was fussy and the worker immediately switched positions, crooned to him, and he settled back down. 5 minutes down - 2 hours, 55 minutes to go. Boy I wish I believed in playing the lottery....quitting work would be awesome.


Anonymous said...

Man... I've got to check my vitamins. I think I need more testostrone, 'cause now I feel like crying.

I'm sure the baby will be able to get you through. They are pretty resiliant.

Says something about your heart that this bothers you so. Too many mommies never give it a second thought and even look forward to going back to work. :(

Tamara (TC) said...


I cannot even imagine how hard that was to leave baby for the first time and go off to work. I think my concentration would be nil. Hope you manage to have a wonderful day and baby is beyond excited when you pick the little guy up this afternoon.


Ethereal Highway said...

I love the idea of you sleeping with his blanket! I'm sure your scent will give him comfort. I hope all went well.

Rising Rainbow said...

I hope the transition is going well for both of you. I can't believe it's already been three months.......where did the time go?

I'm with you on the lottery thing.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

It's so sad leaving a baby in the care the first time. I remember when... No, I'll not tell those stories and I'll have tears in my eyes.

Blessings, dear Enola!