It's the holiday season which means more contact with my dysfunctional family. Also more contact with my non-dysfunctional in-laws, which only serves to point out by contrast that my family is even more dysfunctional than I thought.
My Sister and her Husband came down to visit at the last minute. Thanksgiving is the only holiday Mom is guaranteed off since her days off are Wed and Thurs. Sister mentioned she was visiting.
Now Mom hasn't seen Sister in one year. She didn't use her vacation time to visit. Nor did she suggest visiting this time. That's okay - she wasn't invited.
So instead of asking for an invitation, offering to come, or addressing it directly, Mom does her usual passive-aggressive crap. She says, "Oh, Enola is cooking. That ought to be interesting." Because, after all I can't do anything right, like cook a meal.
After the visit, I get an email -- "Did Sister get there and home okay. I never got an email...." Because after all, I can't do anything right, like email her that everyone arrived okay.
Then I sent some pictures and get a response, "Thanks for the pictures. Sure wish the group shot wasn't so dark." Because after all, I can't do anything right, like take good pictures.
Oh and I don't even want to get started about Christmas visits. Because Christmas Eve/Day and New Years Eve/Day are Mom's days off. But I'm sure not inviting her here. She'll think she needs to be home with her husband anyway because she can't possibly leave him alone, even though growing up we never celebrated on the actual holiday anyway because Mom was working. And I'm sure not giving up my good holiday plans to accommodate her. So I'll get a "wish you were available to visit for the holidays. Maybe I can see you....sometime" message.
I fell into the game-playing crap with Tgiv and emailed the whole family, including Mom that we had a "great time over Tgiv. The in-laws graciously hosted and didn't bat an eye at having five additional. Sister, etc came down and were adopted into the family. It was a great, old-fashioned family gathering." Hah - take that Mom. And by the way, the in-laws extended a standing invitation to Sister, and are buying presents for the kids for Christmas. And the kids begged to go again next year. They've never begged to see you.....
And since I can't do anything right - like keep my mouth shut - I'll probably email to brag about going to the in-laws for a family Christmas Eve gathering, and then having the in-laws here Christmas morning so they can see their grandchildren open presents (like true grandparents get the opportunity to do.) If I can't be perfect, I might as well have fun being un-perfect.