BIL does not always take good care of himself. He's a go-getter. He over-exerts himself. Every trip, he ends up sick from dehydration. So while we expected some adjustment, we didn't expect this.
My sister called to vent just a few moments ago. And to let me know that BIL couldn't receive emails or mail yet but it would be delivered to his bunk (?) and he'd get it when released. We added him to our Church prayer line, sent a card out and a package out, as well as emails.
My sister said she had a thought this morning, "well at least he's in the hospital and they are having to deal with him - not me." Then she said she felt horribly guilty and as if she was turning into my mother. She had to work through that. Really, she was relieved that BIL wasn't calling from his bunk sick, but rather was in the hospital receiving care. But those old guilty, nagging voices can do some damage. I'm glad she recognized them for what they were and was able to beat them back down (she's SO much further along in this process than me.)
My sister got the kids off to school, and was trying to relax and catch up on some sleep and prayer time. She logged on the computer to send out an update and another prayer request. Apparently my concerned mother was feeling....motherly? Buzz, Buzz she went on IM. My sister ignored her. Then Sister's phone rang. Sister noticed it was Mom and ignored it. No message left. Then cell phone rang - mom again. Sister ignored it. Mom called back on the home line. Left a message, "I'm worried. I need to hear from you and know you're okay.....blah, blah." It's really about mom being able to email my grandparents and aunt (her parents and sister) that she has talked to Sister. So she can look like a caring mother.
So Sister decides to pick up the next time the phone rings. My mother then proceeds to ask, "are you sure he's that sick? I know he is homesick. Do you think he is faking it to come home?"
Sister - [thud] Uh no. I don't think they'd hospitalize him unless it were serious. And I truly doubt he'd fake it.
Mom - well, you know, not fake it, really. But just exaggerate things.
Sister - No. I really don't need this right now. This isn't helping.
Mom - well uh, I talked to Toilet (who fought in Vietnam) and he was talking about how units get all shuffled in combat and maybe BIL isn't used to taking orders from people he doesn't know.
Sister - [thud - WTF? You talked to who? About my husband? And I want his advice?] That's not it. I really don't need to talk about this. Good bye.
She then called me to vent. One good outcome - Sister no longer thinks she is anything like my mother. (and she is not). WTF was Mom thinking? First of all, we don't need you talking to your husband about us. Why the hell would we want advice from the son of satan - who has never ever met my BIL. Who doesn't know anything about this branch of the military or military life in this generation. Who doesn't know that my BIL is high-ranking enough to be in charge of others.
And NO he is not faking things. I know we (Sister and I) were not allowed to be sick growing up. We were always "exaggerating things" and it was never "that bad." Urgh. My Sister and I fight hard against those tendencies - denying that our own selves are sick, tending to doubt our children and husbands. It's hard work.
And thanks for triggering Sister (and me) with the thought that you share info with Toilet. Gag. That though -- is a post for another day. Right now I have to call Dell computer. Apparently an "unmountable boot error" is bad --- really bad. Bad enough (maybe) to take my mind of off killing my mother. Because I could right now. Don't mess with my baby sister. I guess it's my turn now - to deal with Mom and take the heat off Sister. Bleh.