Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Do Over Day

Whew! My husband agreed to a "do over."

Husband went to sign up Daughter for Tball last week when I was sick. The registrar stressed how "desperate" they were for coaches. So husband, never one to say "no" agreed to assistant coach. No biggie. One of us has to take her and sit there (no way I'm dropping off a 5 year old and leaving her). What Husband didn't find out was the schedule - it's TWO times a week instead of one like he assumed. And he has to attend a training session and complete a background check.

Husband also forgot to update the scheduling calendar on the wall to note that he and Daughter had dress rehearsal for the play on Wed or that he wanted to play basketball at church on Tues (forget even putting it on the calendar in his assigned color [yes I have OCD] he didn't even put it on there at all). So I got it in my head that I'd go grocery shopping for our Easter guests on Wed, clean on Thursday and then go to my handbell performance Thurs night (which is on the calendar). Change of plans...............

I don't do well with last minute changes. Especially when they start with, "Well you KNOW I play basketball with the guys on Tuesday" (no I don't because you've only done it ONE time), progress to "Well you KNOW we always have dress rehearsal on Wed" (no, because they have it in the bulletin as on Friday) and finish with, "why can't you just take the kids with you to the grocery store."

It progressed from there. We resolved it. Decided I would pick kids up today and start supper. He'll go to T-ball orientation/training. He'll come home and tag out. I'll go to the grocery store (alone) and get the stuff for our guests, Easter, Easter baskets, nephew's party, Easter party at school and general groceries. I'll not rush but not dawdle either. When I get home, Husband can then go to basketball. On Wednesday I will come home where my husband will have bathed Daughter and gotten her ready for the play. I'll handle Baby and start the house cleaning. On Thursday, I'll pick up take out. We'll all scarf down food. Husband and Daughter will run to Tball practice. I'll take Baby to Maundy Thursday (which is a silent service, by the way) where I'll either pray they have childcare or beg some teenager who really wasn't interested in standing silent for 30 minutes anyway, to take Baby to the nursery.

Fast forward to this morning. Oh wait - between last night and this morning there was a certain NCAA basketball final game where the team he pulls for was playing. Husband stayed up late watching it. Baby was up 3 or 4 times. Husband and I did trade off caring for the Baby (who had a nasty sounding cough). All that to say - we were both tired.

I think it started this morning when our daughter refused to get dressed and told me "No." I know it continued with Daughter throwing her clothes at my Husband. He nicely told her to get dressed again. I firmly told her she wasn't to throw ANYTHING at ANYONE and especially not at her FATHER (yes, I'm the disciplinarian). Then it went to Husband arguing with Daughter over whether she could have a cupcake for breakfast (his suggestion) or Oreo cookies (her suggestion). Billy bad butt Mommy said "heck no, she can have cereal or a pop-tart" which denigrated into an argument between Husband and I over the relative nutritional values of a cupcake versus a poptart. It then progressed to my telling my husband he needed to learn how to tell Daughter "No" now on the little things before time flew by and she was wanting to do something like get a tattoo or smoke marijuana ........insert some ugly stuff here...........then it proceeded to his saying "well my parents let me eat candy for breakfast and I turned out fine - unlike what your parents let you do and what you did as a teen." My saying "yeah but you were fat in 6th grade and your brother is still morbidly fat. And I know that 'no' wasn't an option in my house and look at all the stuff that went on."


Yep - I threw out the fat card. Me who is still carrying 40 pounds above what I should be carrying. Besides the fact that it's not nice to throw that out either.

Yep - he threw out the "you have a nasty family tree" card. He knows better. He also knows that the apple can fall far from the tree when there is a will and good therapy. In other words, I'm not my family.

We stormed out of the house ---

After a crazy morning at work, I decided to call Husband and double check that I was still to pick up the kids. I suggested a "do over." We both agree to forget anything said by the other person last night or this morning. He agreed. I think it's a good time for a Do Over Day.
We also agreed to try really hard to address disagreements when we've had more sleep. Which is not any time soon. But it's worth a shot.

I don't have any excuse for my behavior. Well, okay I do have a reason - but it's not an excuse. I'll post about the reason tomorrow -- if it still exists.


austin said...

Oh my! The gloves came off.

The fat card and the family tree card, y'all went head to head didn't you?

Do over's are a good thing, a very good thing.


Kahless said...

I have been really badly behaved recently. I am not sure I am brave enough to blog it!!!

We are all human eh.

lawyerchik said...

Nice to know that there are other people who have fights in their house too. :) I LOVE the "do over day" idea, though. (and I reeeeaaalllly love the t-shirt!)

Butterfly said...

This therapist that my husband I were seeing recently said something interesting about a particularly nasty fight we had. He threw out a card that was hurtful to me, and I handled it by running upstairs and crying under the covers of our bed. Anyway, the therapist said to my husband "Well, what happened there was you pulled out a gun. By saying the thing you knew would hurt her, you pulled out a gun. And when someone is facing the barrel of a gun, they will either run away or pull out a bigger gun. She ran away."