Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hiding -- Overwhelmed

I just finished making my To Do Lists. Those that know me well would not be surprised. After all, I'm the Queen of "to do" lists. What is surprising is how long my list is; and that this is the first list I've had in months; and just how much thought I've had to put into remembering all I need to do.

I have this handy dandy (hot pink) blackberry. It has this nice voice notes and memo feature. It typically goes with me everywhere. I had this idea that I could keep notes on it and jot things down to jog my memory. But it's not happening.

The bills are piling up. I just got the medical mess straight from bills relating to my having Bugaboo versus Bugaboo's hospitalization at 6 weeks old. Now I have the nightmare of my kidney issues - part on old insurance and part on new, versus Munchkin's broken foot. You can't just go to the doctor and get one bill. You've got the doctor, x-ray lab, x-ray tech, anesthesiologist, hospital, etc etc. Throw in the fact that the kids' bills come sometimes in their names and sometimes in mine, and I get a headache. Normally I've got an eye for detail. I used to enjoy getting to the bottom of things. Now, I can't wade through it. I look and give up.

I was the queen of organization too. My house was very organized. Not so much anymore. I used to joke that I should get a job as a professional organizer. However, anyone seeing my house now would never hire me. There is stuff everywhere. Not just clutter that gets left out from kids' playing. But junk everywhere. And even when we pick up the house, there is no where to put it. Gone are the days of labelled containers and bins.

I don't know what happened. I don't know where the organized, efficient part of me went. But I really want (and need) it back.


mssc54 said...

ROFL... It's called life. Don't fret so much about falling short. I suspect that (as usual) the hubby and kids are on top of your "To Do" list. That's as it should be. Everything else will shake it self out.

Colleen said...

I thought I was the Queen of To Do lists!! :) Well, I used to be, but sometimes life makes it hard. I agree with mssc54's comment. Blessings.

Ethereal Highway said...


I can totally sympathize. I was dealing with my own problems when the medical bills (mostly for peoples' knees) started rolling in. I could not keep up and that is how my credit got trashed. I am still atonished by how many separate bills and pieces of paper can come from one simple doctor visit and what a mess it can create. And being overwhelmed can set a person up for a landslide of disorganization. I hope you won't beat yourself up over it.

Kahless said...


Take care Enola. I am thinking of you.


16 blessings'mom said...

I think it's kind of funny - you don't know what happened - Well, they're called kids! And they will get bigger and things will get better....

prochaskas said...

Does your insurance have a patient advocate? Or does your doctor's office or hospital have one? We had one at the campus health center where we used to live, and it was very helpful for wading through messes like this.

Even if you could get a friend who could sit with you and organize the bills -- might help.

You could get some cardboard packing boxes at the grocery store -- at least to semi-categorize the junk and keep it semi-tidy. You don't have to go back to the organization you used to have all in one step.

God grant you what you need, whether rest and peace and faith or whatever else.

VICKI IN AZ said...

Be kind to you!
Funny that I would read this, I feel so many of the same things right now.

Artemis said...

Hey as a fellow survivor just wanted to send out some good vibes and support. I am trying to raise awareness with my blog http://voicesinthedarkness.blogspot.com/

this keeps a list of celebrities who have been molested as celebrities always seem to bring attention to an issue.

I will be adding you to my blog as I would like to network with more survivors.

Peace and blessings

lawyerchik said...

What mssc54 said - just make sure that you get some rest when you can!! That will help the rest of the organizational stuff get back into place.