Thursday, October 15, 2009

It is OVER !!!

So last week was my deposition in my malpractice case involving the bitch that sued me. It settled!

I hate that the insurance company paid her anything. But it was less than 1/5 of what she wanted and it is now done. No more missing work for mediations, depositions and no more week-long trial hanging over my head. It all settled without me having to take a week off for a December hearing.

Apparently I kicked butt at the deposition because it settled immediately upon its conclusion.

I know my insurance company paid her money because it's less expensive to give her money and make her go away, than to take the case to trial. The deductible is already paid. So it makes good economic sense. I've had that same conversation with clients myself - "you need to bite the bullet and just pay some money. I know it is the principle of the thing, but you'll spend time and money you can't get back fighting it." It still reeks of doing something wrong. My attorney did insist on a confidentiality clause so that will prevent Bitch from talking about the case and hopefully, preserve my reputation.

So now that it is all over and I have some perspective, what do I think?

I was Terrified -- with a capital "T." This case took place during the years I started dealing with all this crap and my life went downhill. I was so zoned out on meds and dissociation, who knew what happened? I'm lucky that this was a difference of opinion in judgment and not a serious error. Best practices would have dictated I did something different. But as things shook out it didn't matter long-term. However, you could still argue I still screwed up in some ways. Work has always been my saving grace and to see that fall apart is truly frightening.

I was really worried the attorney would ask me about medications. It's a standard question - to find out what medications the deponent has taken within 24 hours of their deposition. If there is anything questionable, they will sometimes ask what prescriptions were taken during the time in question. I definitely didn't want to answer that question!

I used to have nightmares about having my deposition taking but where the subject was my childhood. Being drilled on dates, order of events and other details that are oh, so fuzzy in my head. So the deposition was a bit panic-inducing. I can't even imagine trial with all those people looking at me and judging me.

I emailed the partners of my old firm, since the firm was named in the suit. I thought they should know how it turned out. Not one of them asked details. I guess I expected some support like "we had your back" or "I'm glad you let us know. Sorry you had to go through this." Nope - just a few "thanks for letting us know."

Five hours after finding out, I'm at home. Things have been chaotic tonight. Very loud and disorganized. Not sure if is the chaos, after-effects of this, or the flashbacks I've been having (subject for another blog post), but had an on the Panic Attack Scale. Worst in awhile. And so I'm off to bed.

I'm not sure what else might surface as this sets in. Right now there is a mix of relief, apprehension and uncertainty.


Anonymous said...

I too have been involved in these sort of things. You just HATE that the "person" got anything but insurance companies run on economics NOT on principle.

"Work has always been my saving grace and to see that fall apart is truly frightening."

That is very interesting. Most men have their identity tied to their work.

lawyerchik said...

Just so that someone said it, "I am so sorry you had to go through this!!" [[[[[HUG]]]]]

Colleen said...

Glad it is over for you. Must be a big relief.

Kahless said...

I am glad this is off your shoulders now.