tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post3480694904188693357..comments2008-07-28T23:24:21.868-05:00Enolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00743336472230762551noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-41775144532189438182008-07-28T23:24:00.000-05:002008-07-28T23:24:00.000-05:00After reading this and the previous post, Enola, I congratulate you on your discernment. I suspect that that acumen required a lot of emotional and spiritual energy.<BR/><BR/>Blessings, my friend.Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-76703698991663674412008-07-27T19:44:00.000-05:002008-07-27T19:44:00.000-05:00pregnant, hormones, whatever, we still are on your side, we know life is not fair but there is unfair also!<BR/><BR/>peace and blessings<BR/><BR/>keeperskeepershttp://www.keeperskorner.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-23495823128538132032008-07-26T15:45:00.000-05:002008-07-26T15:45:00.000-05:00Yes - good for you, Enola. I'm glad you were able to talk to DH about this stuff! And, good for you that you didn't SI. Wanting to do something that you know is bad for you and refraining from doing it is very brave and strong, and I am so proud of you for that!!! <BR/><BR/>I hope that you guys can work through this to a place for both of you where your "us" is better than either of you individually, and that each of you individually will continue to work on the things that are going on in your lives.....lawyerchikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04380575753051472156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-45698118879252810302008-07-25T21:50:00.000-05:002008-07-25T21:50:00.000-05:00Enola,<BR/>You obviously have a lot of insight into what's going on between you and DH right now. I'm so proud that you talked to him about stuff and told him what YOU need. Good job. Take care.Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15453948129003575568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-27238403059764306252008-07-25T14:36:00.000-05:002008-07-25T14:36:00.000-05:00Good for you Enola.<BR/>Hang in there; you are doing great.Kahlesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00500615451909999365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-32474508645557514772008-07-25T14:17:00.000-05:002008-07-25T14:17:00.000-05:00You did some really good work here. Alot of processing and connecting, good job. <BR/><BR/>This comment Angel made: <BR/>He may need to reconsider what he finds fulfilling and consciously decide where in that list he ranks being a father. <BR/>RIGHT ON. What a great point. I'll second that one.Perfecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04543810892911675217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970316666997124946.post-72434349466803712322008-07-25T09:22:00.000-05:002008-07-25T09:22:00.000-05:00Wow, good for you, Enola! You have uncovered a lot there. <BR/><BR/>When I posted my comment, I had actually been thinking about anger, anger that you had to turn down the nomination for his ego, anger that your h gets to be the "good guy", the "yes" man, not jealousy, but I'm glad it sparked something for you. <BR/><BR/>He picked the ONE commitment you have outside the home(T) to make his point? I'm glad that he admitted that he knew it would make you mad and that is why he said it, but to pick your ONE commitment is really reaching ridiculously. <BR/><BR/>Maybe he needs to drop all the balls miserably before he will realize what a problem his easy overcommitting is. Does he think that the new baby is really only going to affect you? Okay, if you breastfeed that gives him an easy excuse for why he can't do nighttime or daytime feedings, but maybe he needs to start being the one to get your daughter dressed and ready for church while you get first your pregnant self and then yourself and the baby ready. Maybe he needs to see what the daily responsibility entails because it doesn't sound like he has a clue. Maybe you do so much that he doesn't even think about it? <BR/><BR/><BR/>I would like to end my post there, but I really have to question his claim of "fulfillment" from teaching. Yeah, he finds it fulfilling- unless it isn't "mentally stimulating" enough. He may need to reconsider what he finds fulfilling and consciously decide where in that list he ranks being a father. Does his role as father come before or after his roles as hunter (leisure time activity) or SS teacher? But before he could do that he would need to fully realize what it entails to be a more involved (in the non-glamorous, day-to-day stuff like feeding and getting her ready) father. I know you have said that he does take care of her at times but for some reason he is not making a connection between the daily responsibility of taking care of a child and how that should affect him. If there are only so many hours in the day and he is a father x number of them, how can he still have time left over to commit to everything else? If he wants to do a good job at it (at any of those roles), it will require a time commitment.Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15988412468706069777noreply@blogger.com