Comments on ~Enola~: What would I be Like?

Wow - that was powerful. I often wonder what life ...

2008-07-16T22:14:00.000-05:00

Wow - that was powerful. I often wonder what life would be like, but don't think that I'd trade the past 10 years for anything. I'm very independent and driven in what I do. No one can tell me what they think I cannot do. I can survive/live through everything.

Even flashbacks, body memories, my perpetrator's words in my head, pain, feeling unsafe all the time, etc.

The not knowing...yes. I obsess on that a lot, eve...

2008-07-16T16:03:00.000-05:00

The not knowing...yes. I obsess on that a lot, even as I move forward, and maybe even more so as I make progress. I don't know if I'd go back and undo it all even if I could, which may sound bizarre, but even with the awful long-lasting effects of abuse, I have this sort of a feeling that life happens in ways that help us develop the skills we need to fulfill our purpose...whatever that may be.

But yeah, I'd still like to know too.

Ditto Lynn. I know I wouldn't still be shaking 2 ...

2008-07-15T09:44:00.000-05:00

Ditto Lynn. I know I wouldn't still be shaking 2 1/2 hours after my ortho appt.

This is one aspect of child abuse that angers me t...

2008-07-15T09:38:00.000-05:00

This is one aspect of child abuse that angers me the most: exactly what it says on that postcard.

I agree with everything Lynn said, but there's also the anger at what I could have been. At the very least, I could have been a singleton.

There are some things that I do know. I wouldn't b...

2008-07-14T17:30:00.000-05:00

There are some things that I do know. I wouldn't be terrified most of the time. I'd be able to work the way I want to and not only in whatever way I can manage at any given time. Having sex with my husband would not derail my life for days on end. I wouldn't start having a panic attack in the grocery store just because a man is waking behind me. I wouldn't have flashbacks. There are lots of things I know.